Fears and Goals

As I sit at home hopelessly bored and still over a week away from leaving, I decided to reflect a little bit on my fears and my goals for the upcoming adventure. While I have many fears, I realize many of them are not entirely justified. First, I worry a little bit about flying over an ocean--seeing as I haven't done that before. Fortunately my roommate Pat was quick to put that one to rest- "If we crash we are going to die whether we are over the ocean or land, so don't even worry about it." A bit morbid but probably true nonetheless. Other irrational fears include, but are not limited to: Black Mambas, (most poisonous and aggressive snake in the world), great white sharks and any other sea creature that could harm me, accidentally eating seafood that I am allergic to, and in the most extreme case getting mugged or robbed while traveling the country. I assume none of these things things will happen to me, and the odds tend to be in my favor, but thinking about Black Mambas still makes me want to pee my pants. I think my most rational fear may be finding myself too far out of my comfort zone. Which is funny, because if you ask me why I chose to go to South Africa, that is probably the first reason I would share. Which brings me to my goals. Following a conversation with my friend Maddie who just spent the fall in Chile, I came to the conclusion that I am probably going to become rather frustrated with American society and our social norms while abroad. This may be what I look forward to most, because it's easy to say "we are so apathetic here in America, there are so many people out there suffering, and we do nothing about it," but it's entirely different to understand and mean it. The truth is, I haven't been exposed to the extreme poverty and challenges many African people face. I am sheltered. I am a white, middle-class, male, who grew up with everything he needed and more. I want to see the world for what it really is, the good, bad, and ugly. I want to be frustrated with America, and funnel that frustration as motivation that will lead to me actually doing something about it. And hopefully in the end, making a difference.

In Preparation

My list is still remarkably long. Backpack, camera, money, books, and most importantly mental preparation. I don't know if I will ever feel ready, but January 31st isn't getting any farther away. I thought I would create a blog knowing full well I will not update it as frequently as any of my followers would like.  That said, I hope anyone who reads this will find my writing entertaining enough to continue following, and maybe even to comment (I won't hold my breath). And now that I got all excited, I will get back to working 8 hours a day at Hoigaards for minimum wage. *Sigh*


Andrew